Dean, my heart's bleeding for you 心疼啊

放上我之前說很喜歡的那二幕Dean獨白台詞。(正確性不負任何責任~)

Supernatural 2.22 All Hell Breaks Loose, Part 2

Scene: In front of Sam's corpse

Dean: You know, when we were little, you couldn't been more than five, you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom? Why do we always have to move around? Where'd Dad go when he'd take off for days at a time? I remember I begged you : " Quit asking, Sammy. Man, you don't want to know." I just wanted you to be a kid.Just for a little while longer. I always tried to protect you.Keep you safe.Dad didn't even need to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job.I had one job.And I screwed it up. I blew it. And for that, I'm sorry. I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. And now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too. How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do Sammy. God. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do ?!

Supernatural 2.20 What Is and What Should Never Be

Scene: In front of John's grave

Dean: All of them. Everyone that you saved, everyone Sammy and I saved .... they're all dead. And there's this woman that's haunting me and I don't know why. I don't know what the connection is. Not yet, anyway. It's like my old life is coming after me or something, like it doesn't want me to be happy. Of course, I know what you'd say. Well, not the "you" that played softball, but you'd say "Go hunt the Djinn. It put you here, it can put you back. Your happiness's for all those people's lives. No contest." Right? But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us, huh? Mom's not supposed to live her life? Sammy's not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything,Dad?.......It's ........Yeah.

有時候我會很喜歡念念Dean的台詞，體會一下他的悲痛，還有體會一下Jensen在詮釋這角色時的心情和整個投入的感覺。順便看自己能否在幾秒鐘邊說邊流淚或是講話帶哭音、顫抖。(好奇而已啦，想看演戲之難度，來體會演員演哭戲的厲害程度)

BTW，4.03的Jensen會不會太厲害了?與Mary說話，沒給人要掉淚的徵兆(ex.紅鼻、紅眼、語帶哭音)，頂多只眼睛閃淚光，然後下一秒就這麼刷～地迅速掉淚?第一次看時我真的有驚豔到，因為毫無預警，以為只是要演拼命忍住淚水的模樣.....。而且Dean的台詞又非像2.20、2.22那種悲情、可以醞釀培養、激發情緒，帶輔助作用的台詞。哇喔，真的要給Jensen一個愛的鼓勵，若不是NG多次才拍成、之前就醞釀情緒很久，那就是他實在太厲害了。(會令人感覺平常就是個多愁善感的雙魚座男人?)

還有，Dean和Lisa這對一直令我不解，覺得很沒來由、很奇怪。倒不是因討厭Lisa或看他們二人在一起，而是他們二人之前又沒許下什麼山盟海誓，Ben也確實不是Dean的孩子，Lisa面對只是近來才偶爾見面一下的Dean幾次來找她然後說些令她一頭霧水的話，難道不覺困擾?不覺打擾到她的家庭和生活?為何可表現一副溫柔、耐心傾聽的正常模樣，好似Dean真的是Lisa家的一員，只是目前出遠門執行任務而已?一副在家等待出遠門先生回來，準備接納他的模樣，難道這二人間的羈絆真有這麼深?還是我漏看了什麼? 同樣地，Dean又非Lisa何人，兩人也沒什麼正式關係，只是多年前的這麼一次"邂逅"而已，也許他真的是很喜歡多方面都和他相似的Ben這孩子，但也不用因此須對Lisa承諾、交代什麼啊。發覺他真的是個責任心很重的男人，也許是當長子慣了之因，照顧弟弟、照顧家庭，連照顧舊情人家庭都要一肩扛。天啊，Dean，你的人生不用這麼苦命好不好?不須搞得自己像阿信.........XD

S5結尾，Dean還真的就住進Lisa家，唯一能說的通的就是Dean是把Lisa和Ben當作家庭、正常生活的象徵；失意絕望時的暫時避風港，作用是逃離現實殘酷而已。而Lisa，多年寂寞的單親媽媽，或許心中仍對Dean有愛意，也可望家庭有個一家之主、Ben有爸爸、自己有個可安全依靠的肩膀吧，就這樣接受了之前一直居無定所的Dean。(說不定還帶有點同情?因為Dean後兩次來找她是一副非常糟糕、令人心碎的模樣...)

還有一點很好奇，Dean每次難道都不怕Lisa開門時，後面走出一男人嗎? XD 這樣不是很尷尬?? 怎麼就這麼篤定Lisa一定是一個人? 所以我說這不合理嘛，演得好像Lisa真的是Dean獨守空閨的妻子....好沒來由。

結論是，我喜歡研究、分析Dean這個內心有缺口、性格有點扭曲的角色，喜歡觀察Jensen的詮釋，這大概是我收看SPN的98%之原因。(1%給了音樂，1%給其他演員)

我想我的"Dean研究論文"、"Jensen觀察日記"會繼續下去的，因為這太有趣了。